Sometime last year, while driving home from my 9-5 office job, I was overcome with the strangest feeling. I was not sad; I mean, I had a good-paying job, lived in a nice enough place, bought my first car, hung out with my friends occasionally, and had a great relationship. All these things should make me content, right? I was doing exactly what I was supposed to. You know – University, then job, car, house, marriage then babies. But I wasn’t really happy. I was, of course, very grateful for all I had ‘achieved', but I could not shake the feeling that this was not the life I was meant to live.

The Unraveling

I shared my thoughts with some close friends and family and explained that I have been very uneasy and unsettled since that drive home from work. Not everyone could understand what I was feeling. Of course not; from the outside looking in, things seemed great. But luckily, others understood immediately. They could identify with how extremely draining it felt to live and never really feel fulfilled. They understood how it felt to always be going left because going left was safe. Most people approved of going left, or the people you admire have gone left and it worked for them - when really you want to go right. Right seemed risky, adventurous, and you could feel that right was where you really should be going.

I was unraveling. I spent a lot of time with myself. I tried to figure out what I was missing and craving. I did a lot of introspection and soul searching, and I finally decided that I would change anything that I didn’t like. I would let go of anything that was no longer serving me or contributing to my happiness. I decided that I had to attack from a different point, which would mean rewriting some chapters of my life and starting new ones.

How The Journey Begins

After I had made up my mind that I would choose a different path, I was excited. I was thrilled thinking about the endless possibilities on the other side. But then I became nervous- fearful even. Was I really about to trade in so much of what I built and knew well to venture into the unknown? Yes. So I started to plan. Every incredible journey needs a map. I spent countless hours trying to work out exactly how I would go about the quest. Even that was overwhelming. But I needed to do it. I needed to see what else was out there for me, and I am determined to make it happen. Even if I fail on this new path, I could say I tried and just start over again. I definitely have not figured it all out, but I have started on my journey. That's always great advice. Just start.

It's Lonely But It's Okay

Like I said, some people in my life never understood that I had to do what needed to be done for me. They may never understand, and I have come to terms with that. The less traveled road is obviously lonely, but you will make meaningful connections if you truly open your heart. I mean, it has only been a few months since my epiphany of sorts, so maybe I don't have all the answers right now. But what I can say is the changes I have made so far have made a world of difference in my life. So I am trusting my gut instinct and following through.

Starting over is never easy. This is why so many people stay in jobs they hate or old unhealthy relationships. But there is something wonderful and absolutely liberating about beginning again. The truth is, we are never really 'starting over' as if from zero. We bring all the lessons we have learned and all our experiences and knowledge to our new path. They help to guide us as we try to find our way.