As we grow older, we realize that dating is absolutely nothing like we see in the movies. There is no shocker there. Clearly, everything we thought we understood as children are all lies. I have concluded that one essential part of adulthood is unlearning many ideas, values, and beliefs that we may have had. Then we must replace them with new ones based on our individual experiences. With that said, there are a lot of varying ideas and beliefs about the dating game. This arena is particularly tricky; the existence of so many dos and don’ts and rights and wrongs make an already complex matter even more complicated.

My first set of real dating experiences began in my late teens, and since then, I have come across a few myths that I had to debunk myself, some of which I have included in this post, others I have noted through experiences of those around me. In any case, understanding what the facts are and what is most likely fiction has undoubtedly helped to relax the pressures of dating in my 20’s. I hope it helps you too.

You have to be in a serious relationship by the end of your 20’s

This couldn’t be any more false. You do not have to do a damn thing until you are good and ready. There is no rush and there is no timeline. You do not want to miss out on great experiences and unforgettable memories because you have spent your time searching for a partner. Furthermore, I believe that the best relationships come when you are least expecting it and luckily, cupid is not thinking about your age.

Being on a Dating App means you’re Desperate.

Not True! You’d think online dating would not have such a stigma surrounding it in the digital age. But unfortunately, it does. And, I feel like this notion comes from the ideas we had growing up about how meeting your partner should happen. So girl bumps into a random guy at the library or bar or supermarket, they have a moment, then voilà, married with kids, happy and in love. Truth is, it doesn’t always happen like this. When many persons work remotely, there are travel and movement restrictions, capacity limits etc. most of the socializing has moved online. So, your soul mate could very well be just a ‘swipe right’ away.

The Red Flags will just Disappear.

Wrong! Never ignore the red flags! Trust your intuition and listen to your gut feeling. Red flags do not magically go away as the years go by. If anything, they just get more severe. If your instinct tells you to run for the hills, then do just that. Never stick around and suffer in silence in hopes that things will work out. Always do what is best to protect yourself.

Happy Couples Don’t Fight.

False! I also believed this one for a very long time, and the moment someone I had any kind of disagreement with someone I was dating back in the day, I would just end it there. Needless to say, my relationships didn’t last very long. But I have realized that you will not see eye-to-eye on everything and as human beings, it is only natural. Every couple will have their disagreements, it doesn’t mean you are with the wrong person or the relationship is doomed. Still, it is very important that there is still respect, no judgment, honesty, empathy, and compassion during times of disagreement.

Opposites Attract

I want to say that this is entirely false, but there is some truth to it. On the surface, my partner and I are polar opposites. But at the core of who we really are, there is hardly any difference. So what I’d say is people who complement each other attract. So, where there is an area you lack, they possess those qualities. Having similarities will undoubtedly make things less complicated, especially when it comes to interests, goals, and even background.

Having Children or Getting Married is a Band-Aid for Broken Relationships

Completely False! Marriage or kids will not fix whatever issues you face in your relationship and can even exacerbate them. You have to assess the real problems in the union and address them head-on for a more favorable outcome. Do not take on such significant commitments without resolutions to major conflicts.

Cheating Should Be Expected

Myth! Over the years, this idea has become quite common. Now I know this is a conversation many people like to wrestle over. I can understand the endless stories of infidelity we see in the media. It certainly makes it very difficult to trust. But if you start up a serious relationship, trust becomes essential. Realistically, a relationship where you expect to be cheated on is not really ideal.

Love is a Fairytale

Like I said earlier, it is nothing like we see in the movies. This is not Disney. To be fair, sometimes it will feel very magically, and that is undeniable. I have had many moments where I felt like I was in the middle of a Romantic Comedy. But, things can also get very messy and we must be prepared for that. This is real life, with a real person, who has very real emotions, so you have to put in real hard work.

While these are just a few misconceptions that we may have about dating in our twenties, there are several others that we can discuss in part two of this post. You can also share some myths that you have heard or believed. I am looking forward to hearing from you!

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